Scratchings-and-Sniffings

Posted: 10 Feb 2010 07:25 AM PST

When we had little kids we lived in a community where nothing was too good for the young'uns. Kind of like Lake Wobegon, all the children were definitely above average. So much so that there seemed to be an ongoing competition for who's little darling did the most amazing thing, the thing so amazing that it obviously foretold a future Nobel Prize.

It became tiresome and stressful to compete. It got really old listening to other parents go on and on about little Billy or little Sally and their remarkable intellectual capabilities.

We're past that now. Our kids are functioning adults and still above average. We don't brag about them too much anymore.

We have Miles now.

Miles is really amazing and much smarter than the other puppies in town. I'm constantly regaling my friends with tales of Miles. What he did on the morning walk on Boston Hill provides unending fodder. How he is progressing on the socialization front is another really interesting topic.

Did you know that Miles is a born bird dog and a born water dog? Well, he is. He loves to sniff out birds on our hikes and he has flushed several coveys of quail. He really gets excited when twenty Gambels take off five feet in front of him. When a Raven or a Northern Harrier flies over us on a walk, Miles is transfixed by the sight.

When we are near a river or creek we can't keep Miles out of the water. He'll retrieve sticks out of the middle of the current or swim all the way across the river to retrieve a stick, all day long. Birds and water seem to be deeply ingrained in his DNA. You'd think that, of course, after all, Miles is an amazing specimen and a remarkable representative the Labrador breed.

He watches TV, too. We used to chide the kids for watching TV, telling them that too much would dull their senses. Not so with Miles. He loves nature shows, of course. Anything with other dogs or birds will get his immediate attention. That's not all, though. Last night he watched three episodes of Damages, season two, on DVD. He loves Glenn Close and he seems to have a keen legal mind, perhaps due to his early puppy-hood with my daughter the actress/ law student.

He's quite a character and sometimes mischief maker, too. Last night he ate what was left of the Super Bowl Party rum cake. He got up on his hind legs, pushed the tin foil cover off with his nose and snarfed down the tasty treat. He even put the tin foil back right where it was and he cleaned up all the stray crumbs that fell on the floor in the process. Amazing attention to detail and dexterity.

Miles starts puppy class today. Actually it's an orientation class and Miles will have to stay home for this first session. I plan on asking the trainer if there is an advanced class for Miles. I'm afraid the other puppies may hold him back. Maybe there is some test he can take that will get him out of the first few classes. Something like the AP classes in history and physics my kids took in high school.

My friends all love to hear about the latest exploits of Miles. I eat breakfast most mornings with my buddies, Jeff and Jeff. We call them Good Jeff and Bad Jeff to tell them apart. The last few weeks neither Jeff has been able to get in much conversation. They are too interested in what I have to tell them about Miles. Good Jeff has a remarkable daughter and Bad Jeff's son just finished off a successful cross country season. You'd think they'd want to talk about that, but no, they seem to prefer to hear about how Miles found the mule deer carcass up on Boston Hill, all by himself.

It's funny though. They haven't called about breakfast lately. I walked into the restaurant the other day and there they were. They had to leave right as I walked up. How unfortunate. I was going to tell them about how Miles goes to the bathroom in the back yard with me watching from the porch every morning. He goes in almost the same place every day. He never has an accident in the house.

Oh, that reminds me, just wait until you hear about what he did the other day. He ........

Wait, where are you going, you're going to love this. Stop moving that mouse......